Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
