i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
