I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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