So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I smell stomach acid.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
love makes seman taste better
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
