I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
