This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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