Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
