problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
