You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
