Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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