Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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