oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
