i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
