A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
