He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
