How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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