just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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