Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
