Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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