shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
