): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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