My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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