so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
