Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
