No, drunk sperm still make babies.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
