I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
