she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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