grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
