i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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