Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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