i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
