i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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