so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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