dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
