Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
last night I used snow as a chaser
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