we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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