Screwed.edu
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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