so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
