Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The uberlube is also flammable
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
