im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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