So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
