I feel like abortions should bother me more
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
