Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
only if we run a train.
done.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
