is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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