It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she told me i tasted like america
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
