i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
there is puke in my bra ... again
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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