Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
