sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
