You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
