her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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