he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
