Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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