i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
