Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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