Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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