My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
