All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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