I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
