He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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