chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
